Can I Ask You a Few Questions About *******?
Shidduchim, because apparently the best way to prove you are ready for marriage is to avoid talking to the person you might marry
Well a shadchanit called me (I assure my readers, I have nothing to do with them at all) to ask a couple more questions about a friend. I have made it clear to this friend how bloody stupid this whole system is and that this is indeed a major waste of time. As evidenced by her inane and pointless questioning this will clearly be proved by the end of the article. But she needed “just a few more questions” about a friend of mine who had already gone on four dates with her girl. Not sure why you’re asking me more questions, especially after four dates.
I have told this friend a hundred times that the system is stupid. The entire purpose of the shidduch system is to ensure communal obedience; the threat of not being able to marry unless you agree to be part of the system. And, as expected, her questions proved my point.
Her: What type of kippa does he wear? Sruga or velvet.
Me: How does that have any affect on his avodas Hashem?
I genuinely wanted to know the formula here. Also, how does the girl not know the answer after going out four freaking times? He’s not that tall.
Her: What type of shirts does he wear? Polo or white button-down?
Me: I don’t know, I don’t dress him in the morning. However, if you asked these questions directly to him, that will surely net you the most accurate answers.
Mind you, this is after four dates. Four dates in which my friend wore at least one polo in front of this girl’s actual human eyes. And I know some readers will try the classic defense. “Maybe the girl is very chassidish.” Relax. This is the same girl who insisted on going to a bar on the fourth date, so I doubt she is rejecting men because their shirts do not button all the way to the floor.
Her: Does he go to movies?
At that point my soul left my body.
Me: Why not call him and ask him?!
Such a wild concept. Ask the person you want information about instead of calling up his entire contact list. Revolutionary! She seemed baffled that direct communication was even an option. Clearly this lady is a retard and evidently strives to waste as much time from as many people as possible. (BTW, she called up my friend and asked the exact same questions. Funnily enough, she received the exact answers almost word-for-word.)
In the end she asked me if I could give her the numbers of any of his other friends who he’s still in contact with. I presume she got tired of me showing her logic and reasoning.
To be fair, she did ask a few reasonable questions and I answered those politely. But the rest of it was pure nonsense. Questions that should have been asked directly to him, or better yet, by the girl sitting across from him on the dates themselves.
If you need a committee, a panel, and a, intermediary to determine whether a grown adult wears polos or watches the occasional Expendables movie, you are not running shidduchim, you are running a group therapy project for people afraid of adult conversation.