Modern Rashi on: The Problem of Getting a ‘Get’

The problem with feminist lies

In this article Eden writes another banger, this time about a topic which she has no experience or expertise on, which she admits towards the end of the article. Her writing style has gotten exceptionally annoying, with paragraphs shrunk to one liners, each consisting of two sentences, which makes this extra annoying to read.

The beginning of this article is a pile of feminist drivel that has zero to do with her actual topic, so I will spare your collective IQs by skipping it. Imagine a TED Talk, but written by someone who thinks TED stands for “Therapy Emotional Damage.” That is the vibe.

In the Jewish community, especially in Israel, there’s a situation that requires a lot of confidence and perseverance from women being victimized – and from all of us.

The problem is that Eden tells me that I’m victimizing women whom I have never met, who are living in Israel. This must be similar to the collectivist idea of “White Privilage.” Very intelligent, Eden. I love when a college freshman assigns me moral responsibility for strangers on a different continent.

Here’s the problem:

In traditional Orthodox marriages, men have all the control; which, in a healthy marriage, is (somewhat) irrelevant. But in a bad marriage, when couples are going through a divorce, women often become victims in the Orthodox community.

We can argue about how things were or how things should be, but this framing is hilariously outdated in today’s world, especially when secular courts get involved. Eden speaks like she’s writing from 1890, not from a country with one of the most aggressive family court systems in the world.

All too often during divorces, men withhold gets, divorce documents, trapping their wives in dysfunctional, sometimes even abusive or life-threatening marriages (such women, by the way, are referred to as agunot).

Here we have another example of Eden ignoring facts. In her feminist crusade she leaves out the part where men can be agunot too. Not only that, Israel actually has more male agunot than female ones. But acknowledging this would break her “women = victims, men = villains” narrative, so she pretends it doesn’t exist. I eagerly await her next article on the hostage crisis of male agunot.

Families are torn apart, and women have no way to easily move forward. They simply can’t start a new life until their husbands (who sometimes go into hiding) grant them their freedom.

This is indeed terrible. However, Beis Din, according to Jewish law, has excellent ways of dealing with this issue. You obviously wouldn’t like those ways, Eden, because they involve actual consequences and not inspirational articles about female empowerment.

If you’re interested, additional information about this issue is detailed in the book “Marriage and Divorce in the Jewish State” by Susan Weiss & Netty Gross-Horowitz.

Oh great, a “woman” and..... whatever-the-heck a Netty is???? with a hyphenated last name, of course.

So there’s a flawed marriage system, and many are suffering because of it. Marriagem, of course, are personal, not communal, issues. So what does this have to do with us as a Jewish community?

I think, in a word, everything.

The religion of collectivism.

The Jewish community is giving in to a system that favors abusers. This can’t go on. So I suggest we, as a community, take upon ourselves Sheryl Sandberg’s ideas to be successful, and work toward freeing agunot.

No, we should not. The halachic system is not perfect, but it is not designed to enable abusers. It is designed to prevent impulsive, reckless divorce and maintain halachic order. This is called a “society,” not a “patriarchy.”

First we need to collectively sit at the table.

Collectivism again. Every feminist solution is a group project. I’m shocked she didn’t tell us to journal about our feelings afterward.

Just because it’s not your failed marriage doesn’t mean it’s not your problem. We never know where we’ll find ourselves in life; it’s not good enough to wait until something smacks us in the face before we take action.

Thank you, Eden, for explaining that my responsibility now extends to every divorce happening anywhere on Earth. Should I also Zelle everyone child support while I’m at it?

Next we need to make our partner a real partner.

Why should we be using retarded feminist relationship ideals to describe halachic justice systems? Two totally different planets: one runs on law, the other runs on anger at men.

I think if we look at this idea as making relationships partnerships, then it makes sense that we shouldn’t condone a system that gives one partner power over another.

And why in feminism should we look at relationships in that way?

Of course, traditional halacha seems to require such a system, but there’s much discussion in the Orthodox movement to make the system more equal for women.

Translation: “I don’t like halacha, so we’re going to liberalize and feminize it until it looks like a Reform youth group pamphlet.”

Lastly, don’t leave before you leave. We don’t need to give up on halacha or Jewish tradition, we just need to make it fit; especially in a way that doesn’t leave hundreds of women’s lives in ruins, subject to the powers of a blind patriarchy.

I speak from no personal experience or expertise on the subject. I’m simply raising the issue as a member of the Jewish community who has invested herself in the stories of others, and wants to help make a difference.

Correct, and it clearly shows. This entire article reads like someone who did a 30 second Google search and then declared herself the Agunah Queen of the Diaspora.

Sometimes personal experience isn’t needed to understand – or help solve – a problem. And sometimes a revolution can begin with a tiny idea and a little passion.

Au contraire, when you are proposing to overhaul a centuries-old legal structure, personal experience, expertise, evidence, and basic literacy are all useful ingredients.

So yes Eden, thank you for your brave contribution to the sacred tradition of yelling at systems you don’t understand. May your next article involve a topic you have actually researched for more than forty seconds. Or at the very least, one where your solutions don’t sound like a BuzzFeed quiz about “Which Girlboss Are You.”